Talking to Your Elderly Parent’s Doctor: 5 Tips for Successful Care Team Communication
As the child of a senior parent, you likely have some role in ensuring their medical care. Whether it’s signing paperwork or coordinating visits and treatments, you’re there. We understand that these responsibilities can be challenging and stressful, which is why we’re here to help.
Successful communication with your parent’s doctor will ensure that they get what they need to stay healthy and happy, so here are some tips for collaboration and engagement:
1. Always Talk to Your Parent First
Due to medical and privacy laws, it’s essential that you get your parent’s express permission to discuss their personal information with their doctors. HIPAA laws and other regulations may prevent the release of your parent’s medical information otherwise.
Speaking with your parent ahead of time is simply the respectful thing to do, too. You wouldn’t want someone talking to your doctor without your knowledge, after all, so we encourage you to extend the same consideration. It’s easy to get lost in the sea of caregiving responsibilities, and we understand that. Just remember to breathe and have a calm, respectful discussion with your parent before taking an active role in their medical care.
Some phrasing suggestions include the following:
- “I want to help you, but I need to talk to your doctor about some stuff.”
- “I have questions for your doctor. Is it okay for me to ask about your health?”
- “I’m worried about you. Can I discuss things with your doctor?”
- “Your doctor knows what’s best for your health. I’m just here to support you.”
- “I need more information from your doctor(s). How do you feel about me asking them?”
Remember to validate your parent’s feelings about whatever is going on. And always respect their right to privacy unless there’s a genuine safety concern.
2. Take Notes at Medical Appointments
You might think you can remember everything, but it never hurts to take notes at important appointments.
Write down the doctor’s care plan for your parent. Ask about any prescriptions or special instructions (like fall risks) that could impact your parent’s care, as well as about your parent’s nutrition, dietary requirements, sleep needs, and mood changes, if necessary.
If you’re your parent’s primary caregiver, let the doctor know. With your parent’s permission, they’ll relay important information to help keep them safe and healthy.
3. Get Familiar With Each Medical Professional
Hopefully, your parent has a well-rounded care team that can address all of their physical and emotional needs. You should know the names and roles of each of these professionals. From psychologists to nutritionists and physicians, everyone matters.
Start by introducing yourself and explaining your role in your parent’s life, whether you’re their primary caregiver or simply keeping them company during visits. Altogether, you want to make yourself known and not be afraid to ask questions about everyone’s professional backgrounds.
4. Prioritize Your Parent’s Independence
While a good care team will recognize the importance of senior independence, you should always advocate for your parent. When they can’t advocate for themselves, you’ll need to speak up for their wishes and rights.
Some healthcare professionals may push them toward residential care. In these cases, maintain strong but polite boundaries. Make it clear that your parent will be aging at home for as long as possible. If a certain professional isn’t on board, you can always get a referral for a new one.
That doesn’t mean you should ignore sound medical advice, however. If your parent is at high risk for medical or emotional problems, get a second opinion as soon as possible.
5. Have the Hard Conversations
It’s never easy to speak up about problems your parent is having with their health and cognition. However, it’s crucial that you tell their doctor about any worrying events or new symptoms that have come up. Many diseases have better outcomes with early intervention.
For example, if you notice your parent becoming unable to remember things as well as they once did, or if they’re having trouble regulating their emotions, you need to tell their doctor. They’ll know the appropriate tests and evaluations to run, and they may also give you good advice on managing your parent’s symptoms and social difficulties.
Know When to Escalate Your Concerns
We recommend always including your parent in conversations with their doctor(s). Sometimes that isn’t possible, but that’s okay. Just make your best effort to give them full autonomy over their life. If they need additional help, it’s your job to elevate the problem to their care team.
Everyone Has an Important Role in Your Parent’s Care
As your parent’s advocate and possible caregiver, the role you play in their life is essential. But so are the roles of each member of their medical care team. A fulfilling life includes social, emotional, and physical wellness. You can do your best to give your parent such a life by collaborating with that team.
Keep these communication tips in mind as you encounter new professionals. Always keep your parent in the loop and make it clear that you’re involved because you love them. There’s nothing like the enduring love between a parent and a child, after all.
If you or your family member is considering in-home care as part of a plan to age in place, contact Family Matters In-Home Care today for a free consultation. Our team is dedicated to supporting your family and helping older adults enjoy life in the comfort of their own home for as long as possible.
Some of the services offered by Family Matter In-Home Care include: Alzheimer’s & Dementia Care, Bed & Wheelchair Transfer Assistance, Companionship, Housekeeping & Meal Preparation, Personal Care, Recovery Care, and Transportation.
Serving the San Francisco Bay Area and Greater San Diego, Family Matter In-Home Care has offices throughout California.
