My Parent Was Diagnosed With Dementia. Now What?
Learning that your mom or dad has been diagnosed with dementia can be devastating. You worry about their future and if you’ll be able to help them cope with all the changes their diagnosis will bring. You can’t control your loved one’s health, but you do have some power when it comes to helping them move forward.
Educate Yourself
The more you understand about dementia, the more empowered you’ll be to help create a care plan that suits your parents’ needs. Ask your doctor for resources and check out trustworthy online sources such as the Alzheimer’s Association and DementiaSociety.org.
Taking personal advice from friends who’ve had similar experiences can be valuable but avoid taking medical advice from anyone except your loved one’s medical team. Every person is different, and the best medical care is care that has been designed for that individual.
Prepare for Your Parent’s Reaction
Anger, grief, or disbelief are all normal reactions to a dementia diagnosis. Your parents may deny the diagnosis’s validity and refuse treatment. Remember that their reaction is not an attempt to be difficult. Depending on how advanced their dementia is, they may not have the cognitive ability needed to fully comprehend what’s happening to them.
Assess Their Safety
What does your parent need right now to remain safe and healthy? If they are getting lost on familiar roads or struggling to understand directions, it may be time for them to stop driving.
Consider having a physical or occupational therapist complete a home safety assessment. These professionals can spot potential hazards that you may not notice. If your parent’s dementia is already preventing them from living at home safely, consider hiring a trained caregiver for overnight or daytime care.
Protect Their Finances
People with dementia are at risk of being scammed and targeted for other forms of financial abuse. Encourage your parent to organize all their legal and financial documents. Include items like:
- Insurance papers
- Bank account information
- Vehicle titles
- Other asset information
Ask them about preparing or updating a will as well. If they haven’t already done so, now is the time to name a financial and medical power of attorney. You might also ask about putting your name on their bank accounts and home ownership papers to help protect them from fraud. Speak with an elder law attorney for more advice.
Follow Medical Advice
There is no cure for dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease, but there are treatments to help with the symptoms. Medical and supportive therapies can improve a dementia patient’s quality of life and relieve some of the distressing symptoms. The healthier your parent stays overall, the happier they will be.
Enjoy Family Time
No one’s life script is written in stone, but a dementia diagnosis usually means your parent will struggle to remember their life at some point. However, you will remember the fun times you had together and the sweet memories you made.
Engage your loved one with photos, food, music, and stories that might spark memories. Include them in family outings while they still enjoy them. Don’t think that denying the reality of dementia will make things easier for them. Say what’s in your heart while they can still appreciate your words.
Find Support
Don’t go it alone. Join an in-person or online support group and connect with friends whose parents also have dementia. If you are a caregiver for your parent, you can turn to a caregiver support group for advice, resources, and encouragement.
Support may also be needed in the form of respite care or an overnight caregiver to keep your parent safe at night. Self-care is essential when you are caring for an elderly parent. Without occasional breaks, you can quickly become mentally and physically strained.
Make Plans for the Future
There may come a time when your parent can no longer make decisions for themselves or attend to their own care. Start building support networks now so you can avoid that stress as dementia progresses.
Ask your parent about their care preferences. You may wish to interview potential caregivers early to lessen the impact of having a “stranger” helping with care later. Consider visiting memory care communities with your parent and learning about the services they provide.
Dementia Can Be Frightening, but Planning Helps You Stay Strong
Life is full of uncertainties. Learning that your parent has dementia is something no child can ever prepare for, no matter how old they are. After allowing yourself and your parent some much-needed time to process your feelings about the diagnosis, it’s time to get to work.
You can start by educating yourself about dementia and what it means for your family. Your first job as a child is to love and respect your parent. Talk to them about their wishes and preferences for care.
Ignoring the reality of the situation only makes things worse in the long run. With sound medical advice, strong support, and a loving heart, you can meet the challenges ahead and help your parent meet them, too.
If you or your family member is considering in-home care as part of a plan to age in place, contact Family Matters In-Home Care today for a free consultation. Our team is dedicated to supporting your family and helping older adults enjoy life in the comfort of their own home for as long as possible.
Some of the services offered by Family Matter In-Home Care include: Alzheimer’s & Dementia Care, Bed & Wheelchair Transfer Assistance, Companionship, Housekeeping & Meal Preparation, Personal Care, Recovery Care, and Transportation.
Serving the San Francisco Bay Area and Greater San Diego, Family Matter In-Home Care has offices throughout California.
