5 Tips on Understanding & Managing Caregiver Anger & Resentment
When older adults reach the point of needing part-time or full-time care, this responsibility is often taken on by their adult children or other family members. While caring for an elderly loved one can be a fulfilling role and an effective way to save money, it can also come with challenges.
A feeling of burnout is common for caregivers who feel overwhelmed by balancing the daily tasks of caregiving with their personal lives. It’s also common for caregivers to feel anger or resentment toward the family member they’re caring for or the position they’re in. Fortunately, managing these feelings is possible with the right approach.
Why Does Caregiver Resentment Happen?
Every caregiving experience is different, and there are many reasons why caregivers can start to feel resentful of their role. If your elderly family member is living in your home with you, you can feel a lack of personal space or privacy. If you are living in their home, you can miss having your own space and feel isolated from your community.
Regardless of living situation, resentment can arise for caregivers when they feel like they no longer have time for themselves, are falling behind in other areas of their lives, or don’t receive help from other family members. It’s important to remember that these feelings are normal and can be managed with the right steps.
5 Ways to Improve Your Caregiving Experience
Caregiving is not an easy task, so there may inevitably be certain negative experiences or feelings associated with it. However, you can make your caregiving journey feel much more positive by taking these five key steps to acknowledge and deal with resentment and anger.
1. Recognize Your Feelings
The first step to handling and decreasing negative emotions is to recognize that they exist in the first place. You may feel guilty about your resentment or anger toward your circumstances, which could lead to suppressing those feelings.
Take a moment to acknowledge your emotions and truly understand their depth. This way, you can create a path forward that focuses on improvement through realistic changes.
2. Create Boundaries
When you’re caring for a loved one who needs your support, creating boundaries with them can feel like a selfish act. However, boundaries are essential to fostering a positive caregiving relationship that doesn’t end up in serious burnout or resentment.
If you can, set some hours during the week when you are not available for caregiving so that you can rely on a certain amount of “me” time every week. If you are the sole caregiver, you can set this type of boundary by arranging for respite care on a semi-regular or regular basis.
3. Delegate Some Responsibilities
Taking on all of the care for your loved one can become overwhelming, especially if you have a family and job to manage in addition to your caregiving duties. Don’t be afraid to delegate some of your daily tasks to other family members and close friends. If help from loved ones isn’t available, do some research on assisted living communities near you that offer respite care.
For example, you could delegate one or two days per week of care to another family member or professional caregiver based on their availability. This way, you can prevent feelings of resentment from forming and take the time you need to be with your family, catch up on work, or simply rest and relax.
4. Seek Support
Many positive feelings can arise as you spend meaningful time with your family member and make long-lasting memories with them, but negative feelings like resentment, guilt, pressure, and sadness are all too common for family caregivers.
In order to serve as a great caregiver and maintain your own mental health in the process, consider seeking support from outside sources, which can be extremely beneficial. This could take the form of one-on-one therapy, support groups, or online forums where you can connect with others going through the same experience.
5. Maintain Self-Care
When you’re living the busy life of a part-time or full-time caregiver and balancing it with numerous other responsibilities, your own self-care might be the first thing to fall by the wayside. With so many other tasks to worry about, non-essential activities like exercising, reading, or spending time with friends may seem frivolous.
The more you maintain the self-care practices that help you feel healthy and happy, the better caregiver you will be. Additionally, these activities can help to maintain a sense of normalcy, which might feel much needed if your loved one’s aging is especially emotionally difficult for you.
Take the Steps to Work Through Caregiver Anger
As a caregiver, you don’t have to suppress your negative emotions or explain them away. Take the steps to work through them, and you can transform your experience through positive changes in your daily life.
If you or your family member is considering in-home care as part of a plan to age in place, contact Family Matters In-Home Care today for a free consultation. Our team is dedicated to supporting your family and helping older adults enjoy life in the comfort of their own home for as long as possible.
Some of the services offered by Family Matter In-Home Care include: Alzheimer’s & Dementia Care, Bed & Wheelchair Transfer Assistance, Companionship, Housekeeping & Meal Preparation, Personal Care, Recovery Care, and Transportation.
Serving the San Francisco Bay Area and Greater San Diego, Family Matter In-Home Care has offices throughout California.
