Coping With Aging Parents: Navigating the Experience of Your Parents Getting Older
Aging is a privilege denied to many. In that spirit, watching your parents age is also a privilege, but it can be heartbreaking at times. Watching the people you once believed were invincible sources of strength become ill, feeble, or forgetful is not only difficult but also forces you into a new role. As parents age, their children become the source of strength and support.
It’s natural to experience uncomfortable feelings when you notice age-related changes in your mom or dad. Don’t let those concerns affect the quality of the time you still have together. Taking steps to support your loved one can help relieve your concerns while allowing you to make meaningful memories together.
Maintain Parent-Child Patterns
Your parent still wants to take care of you. Let them! You may now be the one helping them with shopping, housework, or cooking, but that doesn’t mean they’ve given up their parenting responsibilities.
When your parent wants to give you a gift or perform a favor for you, don’t deny them the opportunity, even if the gesture isn’t needed. Allow them to dote on you if they wish. Knowing you still view them as a parent (and not a helpless older person) may make it easier for them to accept help in the future.
Help Them Stay Connected
Whether it’s help with the latest technology or transportation to the senior center for Bingo night, try to help your aging parent maintain connections with their peers. Loneliness is one of the biggest concerns for seniors, as isolation can lead to physical symptoms and mental health concerns.
Gather the family at Mom’s house for Sunday dinner. Make it a potluck if she’s no longer able to cook for a crowd. Ask Dad to accompany you to the hardware store when you have a home repair project. Aging parents need to know they can still contribute and that they still play an important role in the family dynamic.
Find a Project to Do Together
Bridging the generational gap with a parent can be challenging when you’re both adults. You may have strong religious or political differences or opposing interests. Putting those issues aside and finding something you can both enjoy together is one way to foster a closer relationship.
Consider volunteering together, working on a memory book to preserve family memories, or establishing a regular movie outing. Working on a project together can provide a foundation for spontaneous and meaningful conversations with your loved one.
Educate Yourself on Age-Related Issues
No matter how empathetic you are, it’s difficult to understand what another person is going through if you haven’t experienced it yourself. Older adults may experience fear, anger, and anxiety as they begin to lose their independence. Take time to learn more about some of the most common age-related challenges, including social isolation and the difficulty of coordinating appointments when you no longer feel confident driving.
Facing these issues head-on will help you respond more effectively and avoid taking your parents’ frustration personally.
Find Support
Your parents have you to lean on, but who do you have for support? Watching your parents age can bring up fears about the reality of losing them in the future. It can also trigger unresolved family issues or create anxiety about the fact that you are also aging.
Joining a support group or engaging in private therapy are excellent ways to get help with the understandable emotions you’re experiencing. Reaching out for support not only lowers stress but can also provide you with multiple new ideas and resources to make this stage of life easier for you and your parents.
Take Care of Yourself
Giving every spare moment or extra ounce of energy to your parents may help you feel like a devoted son or daughter, but doing so will also lead to burnout. Whether you’ve fallen into the role of caregiver or purposefully taken it on, maintaining self-care will help you do a better job.
Remember to eat a healthy diet, take time to exercise, and enjoy activities away from your parent. The break will help you maintain emotional and physical balance so you can be fully present and attentive when you’re with them.
You Can Do This
Watching your parents age truly is a privilege. Though you may need to take on the role of caregiver, remember that your parents deserve to be treated with respect. Help them stay connected to friends and family by teaching them how to use the latest technology or making sure they have transportation to social activities when they need it.
Making the needs of your aging parent a priority is wonderful, but that doesn’t mean you should put your own needs last. Reach out for emotional support. Hire in-home care to ease your daily responsibilities, and don’t forget about the value of self-care.
If you or your family member is considering in-home care as part of a plan to age in place, contact Family Matters In-Home Care today for a free consultation. Our team is dedicated to supporting your family and helping older adults enjoy life in the comfort of their own home for as long as possible.
Some of the services offered by Family Matter In-Home Care include: Alzheimer’s & Dementia Care, Bed & Wheelchair Transfer Assistance, Companionship, Housekeeping & Meal Preparation, Personal Care, Recovery Care, and Transportation.
Serving the San Francisco Bay Area and Greater San Diego, Family Matter In-Home Care has offices throughout California.
