How to Deal With a Dying Parent: Support Them & Yourself
As your parent ages, the time will eventually come when you realize that the end of their life is approaching. Whether they’ve been battling a terminal illness for a long time or have taken a natural decline in health, there are often some signs to notice that signal the end of life.
How to Tell It’s Time for End-of-Life Care
The state of your parent’s health, as well as the surrounding context, will play a role in when end-of-life care should begin. If your parent has been receiving treatment for an illness for a long time and has either not gotten better or experienced a recent downturn, it could be time to consider end-of-life arrangements.
Your parent may have recently decided to return home after being treated in the hospital for an extended period or to cease treatment for their condition. That, too, is a situation that can act as a catalyst for end-of-life care.
Where Can End-of-Life Care Take Place?
The end-of-life care process depends on your parent’s needs and preferences. For many older individuals, it is best suited to a hospice facility where they can enjoy the remainder of their life in comfort and safety under the care of professionals.
Some seniors, though, may prefer to remain at home, maintaining as much comfort and care as they can while enjoying the safety and familiarity of their own space. Since end-of-life care can be distressing for many older adults, facing the process at home can feel much more manageable than adjusting to an unfamiliar setting.
What Does Your Parent Need?
As your parent transitions to end-of-life care, their needs will shift. While treatment of their condition may have been the biggest priority before, other needs may now take the forefront, including the following:
Comfort
Comfort is the most important thing to focus on as you care for your dying parent. You want their final months to be as comfortable and peaceful as possible, even if that means slowing or ceasing treatment of their condition.
Basic Needs
Your parent’s basic needs, such as eating, dressing, and bathing, are still essential during end-of-life care. Depending on your parent’s ability to participate in these activities, you may need to acquire the support of another family member or a professional caregiver to physically handle these tasks.
Dignity
Everyone deserves to maintain as much dignity as possible as they experience the final stages of life. Helping your parent maintain their dignity can take many forms, from continuing to keep them clean and well-dressed to regularly communicating with them, even if their communication faculties are limited.
What Do You Need?
Knowing your parent’s needs during end-of-life care is essential, but you, as their caregiver, must not forget to tend to your needs during the process as well.
Support
Caring for a dying parent is emotionally draining from so many angles. You may find yourself cycling between a variety of emotions during the process, perhaps even surprising yourself with how you feel. Don’t hesitate to join support groups, seek individual therapy, or communicate with loved ones regularly about how you’re feeling.
Respite Care
Taking breaks from the end-of-life care process is essential for your own mental and physical health. Lean on respite care resources when you need to, whether they tackle the form of other family members stepping in or a short-term visit to an assisted living community.
Tips for Caring for a Dying Parent
Facing end-of-life care for your parent can feel like too much to handle. Here are a few helpful tips for handling the process in an organized way that prevents emotional overwhelm:
Be Prepared
Before you reach the point of end-of-life care, have as many details about it as squared away as possible. If you can, have conversations about your parent’s end-of-life wishes with them sooner rather than later so you won’t have to worry about acting against their preferences.
Organize Financial and Legal Details
If financial or legal representation is necessary to put your parent’s affairs in order, reach out early to set your parent’s wishes in motion. In doing so, you can avoid having to think about such things when you’re facing the emotional weight of end-of-life care.
Communicate Openly With Family
Even before your parent passes away, the grieving processes of different family members can cause conflict. Do your best to maintain open communication with all of your family members throughout the end-of-life care process. If issues arise that can’t be solved internally, don’t hesitate to bring in a social worker or hospice specialist to act as an unbiased third party.
Face End-of-Life Care With Dignity and Grace
Even though end-of-life care for your parent is emotionally heavy, it’s an important time to connect with your loved one in the final months of their life. With the right preparation and allocation of responsibilities, you can work through this complex period in a graceful and dignified manner.
If you or your family member is considering in-home care as part of a plan to age in place, contact Family Matters In-Home Care today for a free consultation. Our team is dedicated to supporting your family and helping older adults enjoy life in the comfort of their own home for as long as possible.
Some of the services offered by Family Matter In-Home Care include: Alzheimer’s & Dementia Care, Bed & Wheelchair Transfer Assistance, Companionship, Housekeeping & Meal Preparation, Personal Care, Recovery Care, and Transportation.
Serving the San Francisco Bay Area and Greater San Diego, Family Matter In-Home Care has offices throughout California.
