skip to Main Content
My Parent Refuses To Go To Nursing Home Or Assisted Living – What Do I Do?

My Parent Refuses To Go To Nursing Home or Assisted Living – What Do I Do?

Nothing is more confusing or complex than navigating your senior parent’s care. If you’re trying to convince your aging parent to consider assisted living, you know how difficult this can be. 

Many seniors feel that long-term care communities will crush their independence and make them feel lonely. While this isn’t necessarily the case, as their child, you might not be able to sway their decision. 

We’ve created this guide to help you navigate these challenges so you can get your parent the best care possible. Through open communication and active listening, you can help your parent see the bright side of long-term senior care. 

How to Know Your Aging Parent Needs a Higher Level of Care

It can be tricky to figure out when your aging parent needs more than you can give. After all, they’ve cared for you throughout your childhood, and you might feel responsible for being their caretaker now. Unfortunately, sometimes the job is too big for the average person. There’s no shame in a senior needing professional caregiving in an assisted living or nursing home community. 

The biggest indicator that your parent needs a higher level of senior care is when activities of daily living become challenging for them. These include:

  • Bathing and showering
  • Dressing
  • Grooming
  • Staying hygienic
  • Cleaning 
  • Preparing and eating nutritious meals
  • Going on outings (grocery shopping, etc.)
  • Ambulation (walking unassisted)

When these activities become too much for your aging parent, it’s time to consider other caregiving options. You’ve done your best for them, and they would benefit immensely from professional help. 

Bringing Up Long-Term Care With a Resistant Parent

It can be intimidating to discuss senior care with a parent who hates the idea. They might become angry, frustrated, depressed, or dismissive during your conversations. We know this puts you in a tough spot, and we’re here to help you with this transition. 

When you first bring up assisted living, it’s best to do so gently and clearly. Don’t beat around the bush — your parent will value your honesty in the long run. Instead, lay everything out in clear terms. Pick a neutral time to have this discussion, like a mealtime or during a casual visit. 

Let your parent know that you’re concerned about their health and well-being. You know that a long-term care solution could better handle their daily challenges than you can. The goal is to help your parent share this same view. 

Listen to Their Concerns With Compassion

It can be easy to get worked up about your parent’s resistance to senior care. However, it’s essential that you offer a listening ear when they express their concerns. This is a scary time for them, and by meeting them with compassion, you’re more likely to see cooperation from them down the line. 

Validate your parent’s worries and frustrations every step of the way. This doesn’t mean they’re always accurate, but by validating their emotions, you’re showing that you’re in their corner. 

Give Them a Voice in Every Major Decision

You don’t have to make all of the hard choices by yourself. Once your parent has come to terms with the fact that they need professional care, let them give their opinions on the specifics. For example, you can give them a list of care services to choose from and let them pick which one sounds best for them. This will help them keep their autonomy and independence while still getting the care they need. 

Consider Alternative Care Options 

Assisted living and nursing homes aren’t the only options when it comes to professional senior care. In-home care is a great blend of the two, allowing your parent to stay in their beloved space while still getting the help that they need. 

In-home care professionals support seniors with activities of daily living like cooking, cleaning, and grooming. They allow for plenty of autonomy and independence while helping your parent thrive in their own home. When it comes to senior care, in-home care is one of your best options. 

Navigating Long-Term Challenges With Senior Parents 

It’s never easy to bring up the subject of long-term care with an aging parent. However, it’s a necessary step to help you and your parent get the support you need. In-home care offers the best of both worlds: independence and daily support.

If you or your family member is considering in-home care as part of a plan to age in place, contact Family Matters In-Home Care today for a free consultation.  Our team is dedicated to supporting your family and helping older adults enjoy life in the comfort of their own home for as long as possible.

Some of the services offered by Family Matter In-Home Care include: Alzheimer’s & Dementia CareBed & Wheelchair Transfer AssistanceCompanionshipHousekeeping & Meal PreparationPersonal CareRecovery Care, and Transportation.

Serving the San Francisco Bay Area and Greater San Diego, Family Matter In-Home Care has offices throughout California including: Campbell, CARoseville, CASan Marcos, CA, and San Mateo, CA.

Carol Pardue-Spears

Carol has worked in the healthcare field for more than forty years. As a Certified Nursing Assistant, she worked for El Camino Hospital in the cardiac unit, Los Gatos Community Hospital, The Women’s Cancer Center in Los Gatos and several home health and hospice agencies. Carol founded Family Matters in 2002 to fill a deficit she witnessed in high-quality, in-home services and care.

Back To Top