My Parent Has Dementia and I Live Far Away. What Should I Do?
Long-distance caregiving brings unique challenges to the parent-child dynamic, especially when your parent has dementia. They may need extra help with daily tasks and personal care activities. If you live far away, you might feel powerless to help them.
Fortunately, there are many ways you can support your aging parent with dementia from anywhere in the country. From helping them make appointments to getting them in-home help, your role can remain supportive, even from a distance.
Here are some ways to bridge the gap in the distance between you and your senior loved one.
Consider What You Can Do
It’s easy to focus on your limitations when you live far from your aging parent. However, there are plenty of tasks you can help with remotely. For those who require in-person assistance, you can arrange for someone else to help your loved one. You are not powerless in the relationship just because you’re long-distance.
Remote Planning and Organizing
You can schedule appointments for your loved one, organize their finances, and assist with legal processes all from the comfort of your own home.
These days, banking and investing are primarily done online. You can easily take over your loved one’s finances to help them stay on track. You can also access your loved one’s insurance and medical information (with their permission) via online portals and phone calls.
If your loved one needs an attorney’s help with writing their will or estate planning, you can arrange their in-person meetings remotely. Some attorneys will offer video calls, allowing you to join in and take notes.
You should also prepare all emergency documents into one digital file in case someone needs them. These include emergency contacts, medication information and allergies, and legal documents like DNRs. Your loved one or someone who lives nearby can print these documents so the appropriate professionals can access them.
Taking on an organizational role for your loved one will help them immensely. They no longer have to worry about scheduling, planning, and organizing their life; they have you to help.
Connect Your Loved One to Dementia Resources
You can’t do everything on your own, and you shouldn’t have to. There are plenty of resources to help seniors with dementia and their families navigate medical care, finances, and personal care tasks.
Do a quick Google search for dementia and Alzheimer’s resources in your loved one’s area. Look for organizations like Area Agencies on Aging (AAAs) and volunteer centers that assist vulnerable seniors.
Arrange In-Home Care
You may not be there in person, but there are always trained professionals available. In-home senior care can allow your loved one to live independently without risking their safety.
As a long-distance loved one, you can call or video chat with in-home care providers. You can attend virtual consultations that explain each provider’s services and scope of practice. There are even memory-specific providers that help your loved one navigate their cognitive challenges.
In-home care is the best option if your loved one can no longer live safely without outside assistance. When there are no other relatives around who can help, in-home care bridges the gap.
Check In and Offer Emotional Support
It’s easy to get caught up in safety and medical concerns when your loved one has dementia. Don’t forget that they need emotional support as well. You can help them feel less isolated and alone by offering regular check-ins and support.
Phone calls, video chats, and text messages are all wonderful ways to communicate with your loved one. Let them know you’re thinking about them, and see how they’re doing regularly. If they need extra support, try to arrange a visit or coordinate in-person services for them.
Long-Distance Doesn’t Mean You’re Uninvolved
These tips will help you manage your relationship with your loved one and remain free from guilt and unnecessary stress. Whether you choose in-home care or the support of a nearby relative, know that your loved one is in amazing hands. They know you love and care about them, and they’re lucky to have you — even if you live far away.
If you or your family member is considering in-home care as part of a plan to age in place, contact Family Matters In-Home Care today for a free consultation. Our team is dedicated to supporting your family and helping older adults enjoy life in the comfort of their own home for as long as possible.
Some of the services offered by Family Matter In-Home Care include: Alzheimer’s & Dementia Care, Bed & Wheelchair Transfer Assistance, Companionship, Housekeeping & Meal Preparation, Personal Care, Recovery Care, and Transportation.
Serving the San Francisco Bay Area and Greater San Diego, Family Matter In-Home Care has offices throughout California.
